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Update: Why Did You Adopt From China & Not the United States?
A baby hatch in Hebei Province in China
Recently I was asked by someone why Kenny and I adopted from China and not from the United States. I’m doing a whole blog post about this, not just because I feel the need to justify our decision, but because people need to hear the truth.
Please watch this video. This is the reality of how babies are abandoned in China. Notice that the mother who abandoned her baby was crying. My heart breaks for her. My heart sank as I realized one of the baby hatches was in Guangzhou, China, the exact area where my ancestors were from.
Reasons Why We Adopted From China & Not the United States:
1. We believe that ALL children deserve a family. It’s not about countries or skin color. God doesn’t care about that and neither do we.
2. We knew we would for sure be matched with a baby/child within a few years if we applied to adopt a child from China. We knew that from the sheer volume of infants abandoned in China that we would be able to adopt one. (Remember the baby hatch in the video? In just 2 months, this baby hatch in Guangzhou, China took in 262 abandoned children. Guangzhou is the 3rd most populated city in China after Beijing and Shanghai.) For adopting a child domestically in the United States, it’s a different process. Every city and county are different. We were not sure we would be matched with a baby/child within a few years. We also knew that few Asian children are available for adoption. Although we would be willing to consider adopting a child of another ethnicity, we were told that they could not guarantee that we would be matched.
3. We personally saw the extreme poverty in China and the reasons why families might be compelled to abandon a child. We realized the desperate situation of these children in Chinese orphanages and foster homes. In China, there is no welfare system and adoption is frowned upon. There is no help for the working poor. There are few services for families that have children born with disabilities or health issues. Those of us in the United States really take a lot of things for granted. We complain about our country, our welfare system, and the foster care system and they definitely aren’t perfect. But many people don’t seem to realize just how many babies are abandoned in China or how much poverty there is. They don’t seem to realize that most foster care children in the United States can at least get an education and access to basic medical care and dental care paid for by state. THIS IS NOT THE CASE IN CHINA. In China, children who are abandoned who live in orphanages and foster care homes don’t always have access to an education, medical care, or dental care. They don’t realize that many orphans don’t have access to good nutritious food. Do you think orphans in China have access to good nutritious food? In Roxy’s city Wuhan I went to go buy fresh fruit and the prices were astronomical. It was seriously the equivalent of like $5 for an apple. With those kind of prices, I highly doubt orphan children in Wuhan (Roxy’s home city) were given fresh fruit often. The report told us that Roxy had been fed fresh fruit, eggs, chicken, pork, beef, rice, noodles, etc. The only food that Roxy seemed familiar with when we adopted her was congee (rice porridge) and these sugary yogurt drinks that they gave her instead of milk. I’m not saying that they don’t try to give children in Chinese orphanages good care. But there are so many children and so little money and resources, it’s just a simple fact that that poverty, and food insecurity will affect and greatly impact orphaned children, even those living in orphanages and foster homes funded by the Chinese government.
4. In China orphans who are not adopted have very little chance to make something of themselves no matter what they do. In the United States, while being without a family is hard and being in the foster care system is hard, you still have a reasonable chance to make something of your life if you get an education and don’t fall into criminal activity. For foster care children in the United States and children “in the system” you still have access to a free education through high school and the state will pay for your medical and dental care until you reach 18. Orphans in China may not only be denied a basic education, medical care, or dental care, but children who are not adopted who age out of the system are labeled as orphans for life, even on their id cards. In China you are nothing if you don’t come from a good family. You can’t register to take the Gao Kao, China’s high school exit exam (their version of the SAT), unless you can register in the city where your parents are registered as permanent residents. Thus, orphans are usually completely prevented from taking this exam needed to get into university. Orphans are stigmatized and many employers will even refuse to hire them. Many families will not want their children to marry orphans to avoid bringing in “wild blood.” In the United States, foster care children and children who come from the system can get services they need even after they reach 18. Our system is not perfect but we do have services which cater to foster care kids who age out, such as job training services, and a welfare system. They can use an education to rise above their circumstances and their past and build a better life for themselves. American society doesn’t stigmatize orphans as badly as Chinese society does.
4. Children abandoned in China are often abandoned because of the one child rule, poverty, because they are female, or because of a medical condition. This means that many healthy children are abandoned. The minor medical issues such as cleft palate are often treatable or curable. In the United States, many children are abandoned or taken from their parents because their parents are in trouble with the law, into criminal activity or drugs, or they come from broken homes or fragmented families. When we decided to adopt from China we were fairly certain that we could handle a child with minor medical needs since we have access to excellent health care. **EDIT** Note that as of October 29, 2015, China’s government announced that all families in China will be allowed to have two children. This is good news and a step forward. But please note that many children will still be abandoned because of sheer poverty and because of medical issues.
I’m not going to say this is a full list of all the reasons why we adopted from China but I’ve listed the major ones. You will notice that I did NOT say we adopted from China because we wanted a Chinese baby. Although we liked the idea of adopting from the country where our ancestors are from, I want to make it clear that if we were guaranteed to get a child matched in the United States, that this definitely would have factored in, regardless of the child’s ethnicity. If you know me and my husband Kenny personally, then you know, we would adopt a child if they were blue, if we felt we could give them a loving home and God was calling us to adopt them. So again, we didn’t go to China to adopt just because we’re Chinese!
We made the choice that was right for us. It’s not that I’m advocating one country over another or China over the United States though. I don’t look at it that way. I can only tell you our reasons why we adopted Roxy from China. Every child needs a family! If you want to adopt, don’t stop until you figure out what God wants you to do! God will tell you if it’s the right child for you and whatever decision you make won’t be wrong!
Kenny and I prayed and took a hard look at all our options. We decided that the need seemed greater in China (because there are more orphans, there is more poverty, and the Chinese are more adverse to adoption), we were certain that we would be matched with a child in China, and we were certain we could handle a minor medical issue. But you have to make the choice for yourself. My advice is pray about it, meditate on it, and search your soul until you figure out what is right for your family. No matter where you adopt, you are still doing a wonderful thing by uplifting the life of one child.
Right now I am praying for all of you who are in process or who are considering adoption. May God watch over your decisions regarding adoption and may God keep your future children safe until the day you meet.
XOXO Jax
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